Looking back over my life I've realized I've had a lot of seconds, almost's and not quite's. I was 1st Runner up in the Miss Indianapolis Black Expo pageant. The second child in my family. I was 1st Attendant to Miss Kentucky State University. I've loved so hard and it almost worked. I thought I was up for a promotion but not quite. I've had a lot of disappointments but in the end, I'm still grateful.
Grateful that I woke up this morning. That I have a roof over my head. I have food to eat. I have a well paying job. I have a family who loves me unconditionally. I have the best friends a person could ever ask for. And I live in one of the best cities in the world!
One may ask, "How do you stay positive when you feel like your life is full of letdowns?" My answer would be to think about all the good things that have happened in life and to press forward.
This week I read a devotional around being thankful and making sure you learn from your mishaps. You never know who may need to see your positivity, enthusiasm or gratefulness if you're constantly dwelling in your sorrows.
Stay positive and in love.
Tuesday, December 9, 2014
Saturday, December 6, 2014
It's raining today...the thought of trekking around in the NYC streets is dreadful on this day. So instead, I'm having a homecation and indulging in a Sex in the City marathon. While watching the last episode that ever aired like I've never seen it before, I stumbled across a quote that I never paid attention to before:
"Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well that's just fabulous."
It never fails how when you need something, a simple word, quote or even the smallest gesture can change your mood for the rest of the day.
This year I made it a point to really get to know and love me, flaws and all. And if you've ever attempted this, you know how challenging this can be. But nevertheless, I embarked on this journey for myself so that I can fully understand me. I went to therapy everyday up until I turned 30. I ran many miles on days that I felt I needed to clear my mind. I left the country for 3 weeks to get away from the hustle of my life. I read the entire bible. I journaled my most private thoughts because I have a hard time sharing my feelings with others. And through it all, I came to the woman I am now.
I still have flaws. I still have days and weeks that are difficult. I am overly sensitive because of past hurts. I still have some pounds I want to shed. I still am not who I 100% want to be in this life, but I am exactly who I need to be at this moment.
I have been dating a wonderful guy who I think could potentially love me for who I am. He is understanding, fun, smart and hella sexy. My biggest fear is being who I truly am, flawed and all, and him leaving because of it. But that should not be a fear at all. I need someone to accept me at my best and my worst moments because I can't be the person who puts on a smile everyday but is dying inside. I hope he is the man who can provide that for me but if not, that's ok too. I know that day will come.
The best part of knowing who you are is being ok with everything that happens in your life. But know that the happiest moments, the sad ones and the hard trials mold you into the person you are meant to be.
Stay in love with yourself and the person who is meant to love you back...will.
"Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well that's just fabulous."
It never fails how when you need something, a simple word, quote or even the smallest gesture can change your mood for the rest of the day.
This year I made it a point to really get to know and love me, flaws and all. And if you've ever attempted this, you know how challenging this can be. But nevertheless, I embarked on this journey for myself so that I can fully understand me. I went to therapy everyday up until I turned 30. I ran many miles on days that I felt I needed to clear my mind. I left the country for 3 weeks to get away from the hustle of my life. I read the entire bible. I journaled my most private thoughts because I have a hard time sharing my feelings with others. And through it all, I came to the woman I am now.
I still have flaws. I still have days and weeks that are difficult. I am overly sensitive because of past hurts. I still have some pounds I want to shed. I still am not who I 100% want to be in this life, but I am exactly who I need to be at this moment.
I have been dating a wonderful guy who I think could potentially love me for who I am. He is understanding, fun, smart and hella sexy. My biggest fear is being who I truly am, flawed and all, and him leaving because of it. But that should not be a fear at all. I need someone to accept me at my best and my worst moments because I can't be the person who puts on a smile everyday but is dying inside. I hope he is the man who can provide that for me but if not, that's ok too. I know that day will come.
The best part of knowing who you are is being ok with everything that happens in your life. But know that the happiest moments, the sad ones and the hard trials mold you into the person you are meant to be.
Stay in love with yourself and the person who is meant to love you back...will.
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